36 - Target Audience: Unclear. Heart: Open.

I rarely talk about my job here—but you’ve probably figured it out by now:

Sleeping around is my hobby.

My actual work requires more planning, less moaning, and, unfortunately, clothing. For my business, I’m currently attending a PR training course on professional presentation. And I must say, I’ve learned a lot—not just for work, but also for my Tinder profile.

I believe firmly in separating professional and private life—but a little cross-marketing never hurt anyone. Whether you’re calculating quota coefficients like the mister or designing PR strategies for your own dating life, the principle’s the same: it’s all about positioning.

Many Tinder profiles look like they were put together by people who work in haunted houses —with that special vibe of “I’m not like the others—I'm badly lit and might surprise you with an unsolicited dick pic at any moment.” In PR training, they drill one mantra into us: Know your key messages. When I look at my Tinder profile through that lens, my previous results aren’t exactly surprising. Because if you shout ‘fuck!’, you can’t be shocked when the applicant pool looks like the queue for free entry at a swingers’ club. Sure, I wrote that I’m looking for people interested in emotional, intellectual, and sexual growth—but right after that, I also added that I don’t date anyone without a current test and no one who lives more than 30 kilometers away.

PR analysis summary: target audience poorly defined, message diluted, response rate too high—because once again, everyone who wasn’t the intended audience felt addressed.

Recommended action: Tinder relaunch with a focus on authenticity, emotional resonance, and a clear key message.

Which brings me to the decisive question: What do I actually want?

I want a lasting, profound connection with a fascinating person—someone emotionally grounded, who shows me new worlds, ideally already in an open relationship… and preferably nearby. Oh, and English-speaking, please. Let’s be honest: In a world where people buy virtual plots of land on the moon, surely it’s not too much to ask for someone with feelings, a few more synapses, and, ideally, an artistic streak.

So how do I attract such a rare Tinder species to my profile?

Step one: More pictures. Because we know—many men are visual creatures. 

Step two: For those who can (and will) read, a text that clearly states what I’m looking for—and, more importantly, what I’m not.

Step three: Only like men whose profiles I genuinely find a match—not just potential backups for later.

This time: all in or nothing. I’ve had enough funny dates. Now I’d like one that’s more than just entertaining—maybe even enlightening. Something—or someone—like Amar, who apparently lives on Mars, judging by how rarely I see him on Venus. I’m already looking forward to my next PR training session. That’s when we’ll draft a press release titled:

“Emotionally stable person with bookshelf, heart, and open relationship model wanted—photo required.”

After all, we learn from our mistakes. Or so they say. I guess I’ll start now.